Hey people how r u doing, sorry for not giving much love to any of you but ive been busy. Ive been having guy troubles, i just broke up with my boyfriend, and i miss him alot. I think i now realize why i broke up with him because the relationship was a friendship more so than an relationship, we never did anything, except for one thing but that was it. I would call him when i wanted him, and he would call me when he wanted me. I dont know what the problem is with me in relationships. People might say that i'm afriad to be with someone so i find somethign wrong with every guy, it is just the guys ive been with that i feel that i had to bring my standard lower to be with them. Maybe my forehead says if your a broke down nigga with no goals, no nothing and just worthless then come talk to me. i feel like i have been with every type of broke nigga there is. i an a beautiful, funny person, and it is hard trying to look for the right guy, maybe that is my problem i expect so much form some one and when they dont meet the standard i drop them, i feel that i shouldn't have to set for just lower than what i need, im about to turn 19 and i dont want to say that this is the time to meet guys and settle its not, i want to be married by the time im 24 and have kids at the age of 26, this is my plan, is there a such thing as the perfect guy, if there is let me know and maybe my time will come.

love always stephanie

All of my pretty pictures

I realize that i will miss all off those that i  know and all those who know me.When i graduate i may still some of u cuz i may be going to washburn or either ku, both of those schools are only about an hour away.i will miss u guys if i get accepted to Clark Atlanta Unveristy. that is a good school and i really love it, it is also an hbcu and ive always dreamed of going to an hbcu, for those who dont know that mean histoically black college unversity.  i want to leave kansas because i feel if i dont leave then i wont accomplish nothing, there will always be somthing holding u back, i wonder if i have the strength to leave, all my family is here, lr either in the mo side. Now i say i cant wait to school is out and leave my aunts house and just get the fuck up out of here. What happens when ur out of high school, this, leads to getting ready to leave for college, and job, and being on ur own. that sounds good but dang!!!!!!!! the one person i dont want to leave is my brother i say i want him gone and go away for school but my brother now that i look at is like my best friend, i have friends but they dont know who i am, they know the side of me that is loud and crazy, and dont give a fuck, but at home or when im with my brother he knows who i am and what i have gone and undestands me, he is my other side of my heart, i will put him before anyone except for the maker of heaven and earth who contiues to bless me everyday i see the clouds or ther sun,-this is god, now i realize we may not look alike or we may not act the same, we still have that twin connection, we go through the same things, but handle them a little different, there is no one who replace my borther, there is another a person i wouldnt like to leave and that is my boyfriend tony, im not worried about that becuase this isnt a gurantee relationship, i might find somebody in college, he right he is somebody to talk to, many many other thigs. He has been a better boyfriend i may say than all the other looser ive dated. He is 21, he is in college, he has a job, a car, can dress, and goes to church, we havent got to the stage where hasnt quite open up to me all the way, we only been day for a second so i guess we beable to work this out. He is very beautiful person and he is very honest, and i respect that very much, i like him alot and respect him i really care for him, and he says that we have a future the only thing that stops me from really giving my heart to him is becasue i may end up breaking up with him in a few weeks, not only because  i have a problem with commitment, and opening my heart to some guy, im worried how the fact that he has keiloids on his outer edge of his face, they dont look bad, but when i tell people about them they want to laugh and i dont think it is funny, to me it dont matter what is only the outside???? well let me put that in another way it does matter but he is cute, if he didnt have the keiliods on his face he would be even cuter. Well my feelings was really when randa talked about him and my feelings was hurt, no one is truly perfect, i feel that god made us all one way for a reason we cant make fun of what he created. He made me a nigga with, short hair that falls out with stress, who big and beautiful1, with chinese eyes, with tities and maybe an ass, im not perfect, i cant get pass the part that randa made fun of me, her man is white with all kinds of problems, but i showed nothing but repsect for, it is sad on my part that i want to break up with him for that, it shouldnt matter what peole think, normally i would say i dont give a fuck this my man, not urs, he mine and perfect to me, but i dont know what is stopping me form saying that, i dont want to leave him, but i cant do it, if u want to  know what a keiliod is go look it up in images on gooogle they dont look like non of the picutres but , i want to think about and ya'll tell what u ya'll would  do